A Doctor's Heart Sutra

“Kids have a hole in their soul in the shape of their mother.. if a mother is unwilling or unable to fill that hole, it can leave a wound that can not be easily healed...” I see wounded children and adults... carrying those wounds around, infecting the lives that they share with. Time to time they tend to come back to recover what was missed and ignored... but sometimes mothers’ are too busy to look into their child's eyes and identify the pain they are in ! Some tend to forget that they can’t just leave their children at certain times of life, while some stick to their children and help them gain the best from their lives. I don’t see happy mothers, and I don’t see happy children.  When I posted this on face book.. on mothers day ! I did not get much of a response. this is the sad truth and the reality Yes! it’s a grey world but I can’t ignore the reality ! The reality in which many of us struggles to escape or forget.  I see mothers who have to juggle betwee...

….It takes only a few rotten minds to create hell in this country and we saw it happen for 30 years… Let’s call her Geetha. She was twenty year old, who was treated for the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). She was admitted to the emergency unit twice, following suicide attempts with drug overdose and ingestion of insecticides. “This dakta (‘doctor’ in her accent) treated me when I got shot in the battle last year,” Geetha starts her usual ranting every morning, when she sees me. She told me this even on the very first day that she saw me in the medical ward. I’ve already told her a number of times that I was a Sinhalese doctor, who lived in Colombo and never had been to the North, especially during the days of the final battle. She agrees with me momentarily, each time I explain this, but the very next day starts again with the same talk about me being a Tamil doctor who worked for the terrorists. “How could you switch sides like this?” sometimes she scolds me. “Geetha, I’ve tol...

Living among them, working in the heart of the north where people struggled to heal and hoped to survive – This is my story. “If you can’t speak Tamil , then you’d better pack your bags and leave!” the Consultant said in a blunt tone to the doctors who were newly-posted there. A few years ago, the sound of guns, bombs and aircraft filled the atmosphere of the North. Everything ended for good in May 2009, and now they are in the process of regaining their normal lives, even though most of it had been destroyed beyond repair by the brutal war. Yes, I wanted to serve in the North and it was the time that our country needed our help by whatever means possible. Despite the objections of my family, relatives and friends, I started my journey to the hospital at the other end of the country. Traveling to an area in the aftermath of a brutal war was not easy when there were, road blocks, checkpoints and warning tapes on either side of the roads where demining took place. Roads were all wrecked...

M y chest throbbed with immense pain while watching the movie” Ira handa yata,” Under the sun and moon. This movie reflected the 30 years of war that ruined the lives of millions in this country, and I felt it deeply as I was a victim of it since I was born and until I finished my medical degree. The tears of the living dead and the cries of the innocent had been reflected sharply throughout the film as I witnessed most of it myself during the time I served in an immediate post war area. The theme it carried not only bears a clear history of the war but also the humanity and its relativity towards the nation. It takes a lot of courage and kindness to look at one another with love and compassion even when one has lost almost everything he owned. “It’s so good that it all ended doctor” every single person I met, told me, that their lives are so much better, the children are safe and they’ve returned “home”. It was not all sunny and bright! Every day I come across hundre...

My stethoscope fell on the floor and broke into 2 pieces ! I still remember the day that I bought it like it was yesterday. I was using a cheap steth during the whole 3rd year, it was heavy, out of style, rubber one which was not the kind to be used by girls of my age. We were one of those middle class families with 3 kids and my parents were already fighting hard to earn enough for our educational needs so I never wanted a fancy expensive one. At the end of that year, my father asked if i wanted a good one. Finally I went to a pharmacy near town hall and got a grey littman ! which was with me for the past 7 years. It got me through many clincal attachments , exams and even finals. It was around my neck through the whole internship and post internship. One busy day I dropped it on the tile floor of our scanning room , while trying to find room to write the scan reports of a patient. the rim and the diaphragm came out which was the main part of the steth. I was pos...